It was only a dream, a nightmare.
That is what I try to tell myself, but I remember it now, in nearly every waking hour.
I was back in fifth grade, a whole six years ago, and somehow, although there was no image of it, I knew it was the very day that old Mr. Scott had told us, in a tone of voice we had never heard from him, out there on the soccer field when Ms. K. was called in, that most adults lied to us about what had happened fifteen and ten years ago with the Pandemic and the Election Protest, and that people were sadder than they had been in times before. That we should seek out some church in our area whose name I forget, but without telling our parents it was his idea, and that when older we should try to find out, but in a secret and deniable way, whether anyone we knew was a Web Diver or a Transcription Keeper, and that the most important lesson we would ever learn in school, next to singing and playing in love, was how to pass notes without the adults noticing.
Anyhow, I knew it was supposed to be that same day in the dream—recess was over, and we were back in class, but with the colors changed—many objects in the classroom were now bright yellow, orange, red, blue, and the desks and chairs were not real furniture, but inflatable plastic versions, toys, sort of, like we were at a beach party. Ms. V. told us we had an extra teacher today, and a Clown came in, a stereotypical scary-clown whose painted-on smile chills one’s heart.
He had us stand up, as if it were an assembly-day, and say the Pledge of Allegiance, but it was some new kind of Pledge, to a new Flag now half-rainbow, half- red-white-and-blue. It went like this:
I pledge Allegiance, to the Official Flag of America, and to the Right Understanding it stands for.
I pledge myself to Detest Disinformation, and to Report the Spreaders of it, especially if they say that:
10. The Simple Living Program is poverty,
--for that is a lie.
9. There are only two Genders,
--for that is a lie.
8. That nations have border-walls,
--for that is a lie.
7. That Donald Trump was not guilty, not the greatest Traitor to America and Democracy since Joseph McCarthy,
--for that is a lie.
6. That Joseph Biden was not a capable and good president for his time, that he did not fairly win the elections of 2020 and 2024, that his Tragic Stroke in 2025 was not due to natural causes,
--for those are lies.
5. That the original vaccine-mandates and lockdowns were not Constitutional, Democratic, and Love-Allegiant,
--for those are lies.
4. That Disinformation Suppression is censorship, or that the New Conservatives are insincere, or that any of the De-licensed did not deserve to be,
--for those are lies.
3. That the leaders of our institutions are not self-sacrificial servants of the public good,
--for that is a lie.
2. That our Official Scientists cannot be trusted with the New Advances,
--for that is a lie.
1. That the Covid-19 vaccines killed millions and made babies less common, or that any difficult-to-fully-explain instance of death, disability, or infertility should be linked in any way to them,
--for the vaccines saved millions and were a Great Advance approved by the Official Science, making such lies the most detestable ones of all.
I was reciting all this, competing against my peers--I seemed to know this creed by heart-- and my voice was getting ever-louder and my pronunciation ever-more-distinct, when I began to notice an unpleasant odor, and my eyes glanced over to the closet doors that lined one side of our room, and they were all bulging, apparently about burst open, the source of the now overpowering smell…and my voice faltered and choked amid those final syllables, de-test-able-ones-of-all, and the Clown, his face now painted angry, grabbed me and yanked the big gold medal off my neck, and gave it instead to Susie Harris, who stood up on a chair to the cheers of the whole class, and somehow I could read its words:
GOOD CITIZENSHIP THROUGH NARRATIVE MAINTENANCE
No, no, no! To my horror I was screaming now, Give it back! It’s not my fault, not my fault, it’s because of…
Because of who?
It’s all because of what Mr.—I paused—
…Because of who? Was it that Mr. Scott? What did he say? What did he say? And Ms. V. joined in, sweetly as always—Yes, you know you have to tell us--What did he say?
He told us that…
He said…
And then I woke up.
If this "nightmare within a vision" post is too surreal/symbolical for your taste, see the latest all-too-reality-drenched Kirsch post about the Wave of Dementia upon us. https://kirschsubstack.com/p/breaking-early-onset-dementia-is